In a better world…

…I wouldn’t have to worry about plant thieves.

In this world however.

Sigh.

Remember this Epipremnum ‘Pothos’ plant that I showed you back in early November? Here’s half of it anyway:

Shortly after Halloween, I checked on the plants in a client’s office building. In one of the vacant offices, where there were two plants, I saw that it was crammed with Halloween decorations. Rather than fight the clutter, I decided the plants would be ok until the following week (they live in a dark office, in 10″ pots) and left without watering them.

When I checked the following week, the decorations were still there. This time I had to get to the plants because one of them was plainly thirsty. I had my little Sony coolpix camera with me so I snapped a bunch of photos, then moved the cardboard coffin and some other decorations out of the way until I carved my way to the plants.

Later, I posted about it (here).

The next week, the office had been emptied of the Halloween stuff, and the thirsty plant bounced back quickly. It was good.

Briefly after Christmas, decorations blocked easy access to the plants. I was going to grab my camera and blog about it, but I decided to give them a little extra time. The next week, the office was clean, and the plants were just fine.

Then came the MLK holiday. Before the holiday, both plants were there. After the holiday (the office was closed for a day), the one on the cabinet was gone.

Sometimes employees will move plants around, so I searched every office in that building. It wasn’t there. It’s still not there.

Was it stolen? I have no idea.

I do know it didn’t get up and walk out on its own.

I’ve encountered plant thieves before. There are these types:

The person who believes they are rescuing it. (From what, my expert care?)

The person who believes no one will notice. (As if a potted plant could fend for itself.)

The person who believes it’s not stealing because it’s a plant. (Is it your plant? No? Then it’s stealing.)

The person who steals just because it’s there, not because they know what a plant is or what to do with it once it’s home. (You suck!)

Then there are the worst kind of plant thieves: People who love plants.

Why?

Because plant lovers are the ones who know better¹! They know full well that plants need attention to stay healthy. They recognize a great-looking plant.

They know they are stealing from someone who loves plants as much as they do, and they do it anyway. That’s shitty.

Do I know what happened to the Epipremnum in that office? No. I’ll probably never know if it was stolen, thrown in the trash, whatever. If it now lives in the home of a plant lover, I hope that thief is taking good care of it. If it dies, not only has that person stolen from a small business but is also a plant murderer.

I’ll be back manana, hope to see you here.

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¹ Naming plant lovers as the worst offenders is a little like the pot calling the kettle black, as I stole a cactus once (and admitted it on this blog, here). I had never done it before, or since, but still. It wasn’t mine and I took it. I told myself I was rescuing it from certain death, but really it was just stealing. In today’s story, I’m referring to other plant lovers not myself, haha!