Hello beetlebeats, and happy Friday!
Welcome back to the Good To Grow site, and thanks for being here.
Today I’ll be gathering my panel of Experts – all five of them are here today – and asking them a plant-related question. After we marvel at their answers, and they’re awarded imaginary prizes, we’ll move on to last week’s plant puzzler to see who has won pretend prizes there. Finally, I’ll unveil a new puzzler for everyone.
Let’s meet the panel. Hi Experts!
“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Liza!”
Don’t you look smashing with your sunflower heads? From left to right, that’s Tina, Thack, EZ, Dottie and Lewis. If you’d like to know more about them, please click here.
Let’s get right to this week’s question, which is:
Q. January is a good month to buy houseplants because they’re on sale at most nurseries. Do you have plans to buy a houseplant for yourself or for a gift?
Expert Tina Quintana, welcome back. You were missed. Why don’t you get this panel started?
A. I will be looking for a Aloe vera plant…. They say it helps with stretch marks. Do you know if that is true or not???? Anyways maybe someone will offer me one……HINT HINT!!!!
Uh, I don’t know about stretch marks. I think a vitamin E salve works for them. But I can get you an Aloe plant any time you want. You can experiment and get back to us with the results? I have plenty of Aloes to go around.
Tina, that’s a weird win for you, but a win nevertheless, as Aloes are great houseplants. You can collect your prizes at the end of the panel.
Expert Tim Thackaberry, here’s the question to you:
Q. Do you have plans to buy a houseplant for yourself or for a gift?
A. I have to admit that I’m a little gunshy about buying houseplants these days. I have tried and failed to grow so many of them in my life that I’m afraid the sheer volume of my failures may be tantamount to plant genocide at this point. Like I may be hauled in front of the World Plant War Crimes Tribunal in the Hague for crimes against plant-kind if I attempt to buy another houseplant.
Well, if that happened, we would find you the best plant lawyers. And I know a plant psychologist who will testify that they were plant suicides, not murder. If by some chance you still get convicted, I’m pretty sure they sentence you to a garden. I’ll bake a knife made from Bougainvillea thorns into a cake and you can cut your way out. It’ll be ok, dear, don’t fret.
Whether you go to garden prison or not, you’re still a winner on this plant blog, Thack. Thanks for being here.
Expert EZ Ed Johnson, here’s the question to you:
Q. Do you have plans to buy a houseplant for yourself or for a gift?
A. Now that I know they’re on sale, I will certainly buy one. Any recommendations?
Do you know me? Of course I have recommendations! You’ve said before you live in a relatively dark apartment. I’d recommend a Sansevieria (Snake plant) or a Epipremnum (Pothos) because they can both tolerate low light and neglect. I’m not saying you would neglect them, it’s that they are good starter plants.
I also wrote a blog called “Top Five Most Rewarding Houseplants for Novices” that you may want to check out.
If you don’t like those recommendations, I have a feeling there will be some suggestions arriving soon. I’m psychic like that.
EZ, that’s another win for you because even if you aren’t interested in getting a houseplant, you sounded like you were and that’s enough for a correct answer. Good job!
Expert Dottie Correll is up next. Sweet lady, the floor is yours:
Q. Do you have plans to buy a houseplant for yourself or for a gift?
A. Oh my! Well when I was younger and in my wild and exuberant days and time for plant care was last on my list of exciting activities, I I wanted plants that would beautify my space but would more or less take care of themselves and didn’t need “baby sitting”. If you fall into this category or have a “black thumb”, you will find the following plants to be right up your alley.:
Dottie! You rascal! Rubbing it in that you’re going to have fresh lemons for your martinis in ANOTHER STATE BESIDES NEW MEXICO. Fine, enjoy your stupid lemons. We didn’t want to come to happy hour anyway.
Haha, I’m teasing, I’m teasing. Dottie knows that. Can I let you all in on something? Dottie typed that entire answer with one hand (because she hurt her other one). Impressive, isn’t it, that she would do that for us? I love it! Thanks Dottie, for all your efforts. We appreciate it whenever you are here, and understand when you have to miss.
That’s obviously another correct answer for you this week. Congratulations, and again, thanks for being here. EZ, I hope her list moves you one step closer to choosing a houseplant.
Up next, the venerable Expert Lewis Casey. Lewis, what say you, fine sir?
Q. Do you have plans to buy a houseplant for yourself or for a gift?
A. I don’t need no stinking house plant, No wait that was last week.
In a place far, far away, in the middle of a great apartment complex lived a little boy who always wanted to have a house plant of his own.
For beyond his window was only gray buildings, broken sidewalks, dry dirt lots, old cars, sad eyed people and angry young men.
“Mama can I have a house plant”. To which Mama replied, “Oh no my son, a house plant cost a lot of money, is a great responsibility and you’re not old enough to have a plant of your own.
“But Mama” Alejandro said “Billie down the hall has a house plant and it is thisss tall” holding his hand above his head..
“Well Billie is 34 years old, lives with his mother and the everyone say the Police are going to be at Billie’s door some morning and take Billie and his house plant away.”
“I want you to stay away from Billie”.
“Ok Mama I will, but why can’t I have a little house plant, I promise to water and feed it every day and take it out when it needs to go, keep it clean and love it to pieces.”
“I’m sorry son you cannot have a house plant, where would you keep it, our apartment is so small and we only have this little window, but would you like an puppy or a BB gun”, asks Mama?
“A puppy really, says Alejandro, No thanks, I don’t want to carry puppy poop around in my pockets like I see people do” and a BB gun. What if I shot my eye out?”
Poor Alejandro living in a world of concrete, asphalt, plastic, glass and hopeless people, can we not help this poor child and bring a little green to his life. Stay tuned for more “Alejandro’s Pot of Dirt”.
I did buy a pretty Cyclamen red and white for the house, and a some Johnny Jump Ups (Viola cornuta*) for a container in front, they were not on sale. No house plants were insulted in the making of this blog.
Hold up. In this instantaneous society, this everything-at-your-fingertips modern world, you’re going to make us wait for the next installment of “Alejandro’s Pot of Dirt?” *Stamps foot.* Lewis! I want to hear about it NOW!
Sheesh! Where’s life’s fast forward button when you need it?
On the upside, I’m guessing I’m not the only one who will tune back in for the eventual rest of the story, so that’s a win again this week. Thanks for being a tease, Lewis!
Every single one of you is a winner this week – congratulations to you all! For playing, I’d like to award each of you a sunny disposition to use for the weekend, a pinch for luck, an imaginary planter full of spring flowers, 14 bragging rights, a coupon good for fresh lemonade (redeemable when Dottie’s lemons are ripe) and a woohoo!
Thank you again for being here – you guys are the best.
The Experts will return in exactly one week.
Up next, last week’s puzzler:
???Real or Fake???
Last week, I asked if this plant was real or fake:
Let’s see how you answered:
Nancy Popp Mumpton of Arizona wrote, “I think it is fake. At first I thought real but then I notices the curly stems on the left side. I never saw pothos with curly stems.”
Terrence from Dynamic Gardening wrote, “This golden pothos is the opposite of real. It cant be involved in the photosynthesis process just dust collecting.”
Tom from Theatrum Botanicum wrote, “Fake-alicious.”
Steph from Indianapolis wrote, “Never seen curlys on any of my pothos. FAKE. (Why fake a pothos? Even I can’t screw one of those up!)”
Claude from Random Rants and Prickly Plants wrote, “Even if the fake grape tendrils weren’t giving it away, the scrawny little stems would. FAKE”
That’s five votes fake, zero votes real. Let’s take a closer look to see the answer:
It’s not a great quality photo, it was taken from my phone, but I think you can see that those are plastic leaves. Skinny stems, weird curly things, a strange mix of little and big leaves that don’t match. Fake it is.
That means you are all winners this week. Excellent! Congratulations for each of you. Nancy, you answered first so you are the overall grand prize champion of the week! You may multiply all your prizes by four hummingbird sightings. Nicely played.
As a starter prize for all of you, I’d like to invite you to happy hour at Dottie’s house in Arizona. You don’t mind, do you Dottie? Haha, now who’s the rascal?
In addition to happy hour, you’ve each earned a pretend replica of a plant nursery, three sugar highs, a yes, 17 extra credit points, hand jive, and a handful of roly poly nouns. Great job, everyone, and thanks for playing!
And now, the new puzzler with its fancy graphics:
???Real or Fake???
Is this cactus (photo submitted by mr_subjunctive of Plants Are the Strangest People) real or fake:
Think you know the answer, smartyplants? Leave your best guess in the comments section. You have until midnight next Thursday, February 2nd, MST (that’s 2a.m. EST) to cast your vote. I’ll reveal the answer and the winner(s) after next week’s panel of Experts. Remember, the prizes may be imaginary but the link to your site and the glory of winning is oh-so-real.
And if you want to submit photos like mr_s did, that would be great. Shoot me an email with your best shot.
I’ll be back manana, hope to see you here.
9 comments
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January 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Nancy Popp Mumpton
I’ll say fake, but Mr. S. is tricky, so it could be real. It just looks so fake!
January 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm
stephw
Cacti are REALLY foreign to me, but the skinny, dark green ones on the left/back could be real. The short, wider one on the right/front is a fraud! There’s a seem!
January 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm
stephw
(seam)
January 27, 2012 at 6:06 pm
claude
The one in the front is sooooo fake it hurts. seriously. As soon as I finish commenting I’m going to have to take several painkillers and possibly wash them down with vodka. The ones behind… might possibly be a couple of stems of echinocereus… but the growing tips don’t look exactly right…. I’m going to say fake and if I’m wrong I’m going to blame it on the blazing migraine the one in front has given me… or maybe the vodka.
January 27, 2012 at 11:50 pm
Lewis
OMG fake, please pass the vodka around. Maybe that picture is a cartoon because You don’t really think that any of the fine plant people out there would be fooled for a moment did you. Only thing it is missing is the little tag sewn on it that reads Made in China.
January 28, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Martha
The one on the right looks very fake, but I’m not 100% sure about the one on the left. But then, why would someone plant one real and one fake plant together. It just doesn’t make sense. So I’ll vote fake for both.
January 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Tom
This is tough! I’m going with fake because A) That color is horrendously fake looking and B) Everything is just too uniform. That begs the question of WHY DID THEY MAKE A PLANT WITH FAKE ETIOLATED GROWTH?! The etiolated ones seem realish but I can’t believe that would be the case… the spines don’t look nearly as fake at any rate. I’m going to go with all fake.
This is almost as horrifying as the fake Phal I posted on my blog (it had yellowing leaves. Someone actually made a fake dying phalenopsis)
January 30, 2012 at 9:19 pm
claude
I’m gonna do something I’ve never done.
I’m going to second guess myself and change my answer… the thing is that the mishapen lumpy thing in front is not a single plant… it’s three stems. It looks like that because of the camera angle. And then there’s two stems in back that the growing tips don’t look right on… but the coloring on the stems is not something a fake would have…
I’m going to change my answer to real.
And I’m going to go buy more vodka.
February 3, 2012 at 2:41 am
Dynamic Gardening
The plant in the front looks fake that says plastic all over, but the other cacti plants in the back of it can be real.