My experts are on break until after the New Year. Lest they think I’ve forgotten them, I’m leaving their heads in place. We’ll admire them once a week:

Adorable! Then move on the plant puzzler.

Name That Plant Problem!

Last week, I asked what was wrong with this plant:

The answer was “people are assholes.” Then I read your answers, and decided that was a little harsh.

Steph guessed, “What the? Is that a piece of rolled up tissue taped to the leaf? That’s just freakin’ me out.”

Yes, that’s tissue and tape. On a living, breathing creature. Just sitting there. Don’t get me started on that spider-web crap people put in plants at Halloween. It’s all fun and good until someone has to clean it up after the party. Since that someone is usually me, it tends to make me grumpy.

mr_subjunctive from Plants Are the Strangest People wrote, “I decline to answer on the grounds that this is obviously a trick question.”

Well, duh.

goofy guessed, “Well, hmmm..Somehow, and I have no idea how or why, a torn off leaf has one of those old-fashioned cigaret papers for handrolled cigarets affixed to itself with a piece of tape from a pink bridesmaid’s bonnet. Remarkably, that little piece of handmade (formerly) living art is hovering above the parent plant, actually levitating. And what seems to be wrong with the plant itself, as evidenced by those crinkly leaves recoiling from the strange sight of a part of itself hovering above it in a creepy and mysterious way, is–it is frightened!! That’s the only thing I can see that is ‘wrong’. And as the young people like to say, ‘that is SO wrong’.”

Aaaaaaand there goes the grumpiness. Thanks Bill! guessed, “This is so obvious: Secret Agent Jason is leaving a message for Soviet Agent Vladimir!”


Ginny Burton wrote, “Ha! The plant is trying to smoke a reefer, but lacks the fingers to hold onto it, so someone kindly taped the joint onto a leaf.”

Ohmigosh, you guys are so funny!

Ivynettle from Letters & Leaves guessed, “Umm… someone was massively bored? Or someone wanted to disguise the fact they broke the leaf tip? I have honestly no idea, but it looks very weird.”

I don’t think it was boredom. I think there was a party of some sort, and someone thought it would be ok to tape decorations to a plant. It was probably a streamer, but I don’t know. I noticed it and my first reaction was anger. Not for the plant’s sake – tape’s not going to hurt him. I’m sure the plant found the tape annoying, but it’s not going to scar him for life or anything.

What made me mad was the half-ass cleaning job that happened after the party. Take pride in your work, people!

Steph, goofy,, and Ginny, you are all winners. Ivynettle, your guess wasn’t really correct, but you’re cute, so you win, too. This week, I’d like to award each of you 50 extra credit points each, an imaginary Hot Toddy, and because I like you, I’ve arranged for the cable stations to play “A Christmas Story” on tv approximately 300,000 times in the next week.

Let’s get to the new puzzler. I’m very excited about it!

Good To Grow’s Plant Caption Puzzler!

On the suggestion of Mom, I’m introducing a new puzzler. I’ll show you a photo, and you write a caption for it. Dazzle me, and win lots of bragging rights.

Here’s the puzzler:

On your marks, get set, GO!

Leave your caption in the comments section. You have until next Thursday, December 23rd midnight MST (that’s 2a.m. EST) to participate.

I’ll be back manana, hope to see you here.