Hello Junebugs, and happy Friday!

Welcome back to the Good To Grow site, and thanks for being here.

Oh lovely Friday! We are so glad to be reunited with you once again. We missed your free-spirited ways and your devil-may-care attitude! Thanks for coming back ’round.

And Experts, it’s only been a week, but we’ve missed you, too. Terribly! Hi to all of you!

 

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Liza!”

You’re so cute! From left to right, that’s Andy Williams, Tim Thackaberry, EZ Ed Johnson, Dottie Correll and Lewis Casey. If you’d like to know more about them, please click here.

It’s the last Friday in May, or as I like to call it, June Eve. In honor of the inevitable dawning of the new month, I decided to ask my Experts the following question:

Q. People are crazy about the month of June. What’s your take on it? Overrated or best month ever?

Let’s see what they had to say.

Expert Andy, you’re up first:

A. My take is that June is a better than average, yet not the best month.  I would save that distinction for October.  I will not going into the details of that choice until the question from our distinguished moderator is posed.  Back to June, there are a lot of good things about it.  For many it marks the official beginning of summer and goodbye to the strong winds, violent storms and the occasional surprise snowfalls of April and May.  June also is the first “school’s out” month, allowing students to resort to happy, free pursuits other than sitting behind desks with inferior exercise.  June also gives rise, no pun intended, to the emergence of the bikini at beaches and pools near you.  For the most part, that is a good thing, with strong correlation to who is wearing said bikini.  The June sun warms pools and  bodies of water to allow for swimming, water skiing, and surfing as well.  All in all, June is a pretty good month, but not the best.

A.

Overrated, way overrated. It’s coasting on its’ “June Wedding” rep and has been for years.
It’s too hot, the wind is still blowing too hard and, most importantly, there aren’t a lot of sports to watch. In fact, other than the US Open (golf) & the NBA Finals, what other sporting events are there in June worth watching? The best month ever title has to go to a month with multiple watchable sporting events.

A. June, when I was a kid, was the greatest month ever. It meant long summer days to explore miles and miles of backyard. School and September were a million days away. The days were long and limited only to the imagination. Now it’s another month, days folded into years, a month like any other.

A.

“JUNE IS BUSTIN OUT ALL OVER”

(from Carousel)

You can feel it in your heart!

You can see it in the trees

You can smell it in the breeze.

Look around—look around.

 

June is happiness but also has it “horrendousness”

The water is so inviting

But buying & putting on a bathing suit is frightening!

 

When I was a child in the 1940’s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered.  They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job.

Today’s stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip!

The mature woman has a choice:  she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney’s Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have?  I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors, known as the fitting room.  The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material.  The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a sling shot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks.  Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place I gasped in horror, my boobs had disappeared!

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups.  The mature woman is now meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump.  I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing o stay inside it.  The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides.  I looked like a lump of Playdoh wearing undersized cling wrap.

From the other side of the curtain came a voice of the sales girl, “Oh there you are”.  I replied that I wasn’t so sure and asked what else she had to show me.  I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral 2 piece that gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serviette ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan’s Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day!  I tried on a black number with a midriff fringe and looked like a jelly fish in mourning.

Finally, I found a suit that fit, it was a 2 piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.  It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. 

When I got home, I found a label that read,
Material might become transparent in water.”

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year, I’ll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt.

TRULY, JUNE IS “BUSTIN OUT ALL OVER”

Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain, with or without a stylish bathing suit!

 

A. Yes people are crazy it does not matter what month it is through there is a lot of madness in the Fall when people lose their minds while observing or participating in ritual hunting, running shooting or catching objects of worship.

People are crazy about dressing their children, themselves or their animal in elaborate costumes, embellished with shiny rings, colorful ribbons or outrageous clothing meant to exaggerated or elaborate feature that might not have been of such distinction naturally. Ruby red lips, long eyelashes and long hair of curls, twirls  bangs or pigtails, nip, tucks and folds and that just for their dogs. Bigger boobs higher, less tummy lower, a new chin here and smaller nose there, ears raised and eyelids colored. Now let’s throw some jewelry or other ironworks  in there, studs and plugs and nutsandbolts, through the nose, across the eyebrows, metal spouting out the cheeks like feathers on a hen.

An old friends speaks of his daughter who has 17 tattoos and 27 pieces of metal in places on her body that her father cannot name.

He says she weighs 10 lbs. more than she use to and clangs when she walks.

When she had her babies they used a magnet to help deliver them

He is so proud of her

And let’s not forget the tats, there must be an ocean of ink floating around on all of that skin, everything from the devil to the angels and all the farm animals in between

What really gets me is the politicians who hire people to tat their name on their faces so people will not forget them, but that’s ok the folks with the tat can always wear a mask later

Just good thing we don’t let them do it to shaved animals that would be cruelty to animals, idiots get paid for it

You want to meet some real crazies Ride the Bus, there are folks on the bus who would make their mothers gasp, cry or proud, moms can be quite the characters too

There are suits on the bus and hookers homeless with a buck a sleeping bag and an odor that soap has forgotten just on for a ride of warmth or cool,

Druggies going to another fix, bike riders and skateboarders headed for level ground or back up the hill

Folks with no gas, no cash, no hope no chance, headed to aid, food, family, friends, going  to see their PO’s, counselors or shrinks

Louds and shorts, talls and smalls, big and thins, smiles and snarls, toothy and toothless grins, angrys and sads

Moms with their kids in tow, young couples pushing their beautiful child in an oversized baby wagon that blocks half the aisle

Drunks that get on quietly and drunks that loudly don’t giving us all the one finger salute as their stumble away

School, Collage kids flashing their school id’s  and their smarty attitude

Old and young trying to get on with expired pass probably found on the street just want to go home

One legs and no legs on with their chairs Vet’s with great stories and lost souls

Driver professionals all just some love their job more than others and let pass sometime those without the fare

Crazy it helps when you ride the bus

Have no fear for I am with you

Yep People Are Crazy that’s why the world is such a wondrous and beautiful place filled with spirits on their way

Sure be a boring place if we all were the same

There is a county artist that sings a song that I like a lot, I don’t know his name or the title of the song, but it has these words.

God is great, Beer is good and People are crazy,

Not truer words spoken.

I like June my garden grow like crazy then,

I live for the thrill the adventure, the edge of genius and crazy is a very fine line

Man, I love all you Experts! I never cease to wonder at your responses to my silly questions.

Lewis, yes, people are crazy. That’s why I like my garden so much. Especially in June, when most of the hard work has already been invested. I think it’s cool that you always look for the good in people.

Dottie, you had me crying I was laughing so hard! I think most women in the world can relate to the horrors of trying on swimwear! June is not an easy month for showing off at the pool! Thank you for giving everyone a good laugh!

Easy, I think you may have touched on something there. June meant so much more as kids, because it was the start of a summer of freedom. Once you’re out of school, you forfeit that enjoyment. Very eloquently put!

Thack, I couldn’t agree more – June does coast on its wedding rep. Oh sure, the pleasant afternoon temps and the newly warm evenings help, but how does that make June any better than September? Keen observations as usual!

Andy, haha, very funny! No pun intended – riiiiiiight! I will make a note to ask you about October in a future Experts panel! I’ll give rise to my hand and salute you for your contribution this week!

Well done everyone, thank you so much!

That does it for today’s panel of Experts. The Experts will return in exactly one week. They hope to see you back here.

Up next, the answer to the current plant puzzler:

???Real or Fake???

Last week, I asked if this Ficus tree was real or fake:

Good To Grow, Liza's photos, real or fake plant puzzler

Let’s see how you answered:

Ivynettle from Letters and Leaves wrote, “Fake, fake, fake for so many reasons my tired brain can’t put into words.”

Cass McMain from Albuquerque wrote, “Fake as a ten-cent shake.”

Joseph Brenner wrote, “I went out on a limb(Hee-Hee!) and lost on that last one(sniff!), but I know better than to do that twice in a row. Fake!”

mr_subjunctive from Plants Are the Strangest People wrote, “Also fake.”

Martha from Plowing Through Life wrote, “This is fake. Horribly, terribly fake…”

Tom from the Midwestern Jungle wrote, “fake.”

Claude from Random Rants and Prickly Plants wrote, “So fake its giving me the shakes, and I’m going to Havre to resort to vodka…. oh wait, now I have an excuse to get drunk! thanks!”

Jason from Garden in a City (Chicago) wrote, “Fake.”

David from the Desert’s Edge wrote, “Fake – everything from the lay of the stems and leaves, to the leaves.”

That’s nine votes fake, zero votes real.

What’s the correct answer? Let’s take a closer look to find out:

Good To Grow, Liza's photos, real or fake puzzler

Fake! And you’re right – ugly, too! It was for sale at a craft store for $189!!! A real Ficus would be ten times prettier and not that expensive.

Ivy, you were first with the correct answer, which makes you the best answerer. For being so speedy, you’ve earned the title of “Ain’t Nothing Fake about Moi and My Favorite Speed Is Supersonic” for the next week. Congratulations, and well played! You may multiply all the prizes by two starry nights.

Everyone’s a winner this week – good job! I’d like to show my appreciation for your participation by awarding you the following prizes: One empire, four June Saturdays, six soap bubbles, 12 1/2 extra credit points, a learned hummingbird, two cups of syrup, a coupon good for a free ticket, Skittles, one “Get Out of a June Wedding Free” card, a daylight serenade, fruit punch, two oceanside seats, nine more points, a gracious honeybee, and three decorative centerpieces. Congratulations, and thanks so much for playing!

Up next, the new puzzler:

???Real or Fake???

Is this plant real or fake?

Good To Grow, Liza's photos, real or fake plant puzzler

Think you know the answer, smartyplants? Leave your best guess in the comments section or on my facebook wall. You have until midnight next Thursday, June 6th, MST (that’s 2a.m. EST) to cast your vote. I’ll reveal the answer and the winner(s) after next week’s panel of Experts. Remember, the prizes may be imaginary but the link to your site and the glory of winning are oh-so-real.

I’ll be back tomorrow, hope to see you here.

Advertisements